How Not To Do DIY!

I came home from a long day at work today, having left the Grumpy One (as he now wishes to be known) with a list of tasks to complete on his day off. 


The list included a trip to Ikea to buy the missing installments of our (hopefully) soon to be completed kitchen and to create some some kind of oasis, amongst all of the built but not yet installed kitchen units, so we could relax over a nice home cooked meal (the other task on the list), made using our temporary oven.

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So at about 8.15pm this evening I put the key in the front door and wondered to myself, 'what would be for dinner?' I stepped into the hallway and flicked the light switch. 


Nothing. 


'That's funny the bulbs must have gone' I thought. I climbed the stairs to our flat, noticing that the light here too wasn't working. 'That's very strange', I mused.  'The bulbs have all gone out' I shouted out as I entered the flat. 'Well', muttered the grumpy one. And then I knew, the look on his face said it all. 'There was a pop', he said. 'What do you mean, a pop?', I responded. 'What have you done?'

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Well, what he had done, it turns out, is drill through the electrics whilst trying to 'install your fucking wine rack'. I didn't realise the wine rack was mine, i'll remember that when it is stocked. We now have no lights in the flat. Thank the lord we love a lamp.


'Oh no, we are going to have to chip the wall away now, I sighed. The wall has not long been plastered. 'I'm okay thanks, I was only thrown off the ladder and electrocuted', he replied. I admit, in my concern about the wall, that I had not even considered that the 'pop' might have electrocuted the Grumpy One. Anway, as he said, he was fine.


A quick call to my brother, who thankfully is an electrician, allayed my fears that most of the walls would need to come down. A little chasing here and there and all should be right as rain. He is popping round on Sunday.

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'I think what we have learned, is that you shouldn't attempt DIY without me being here', I said. He looked at me indignantly. 'Why?', he snapped back. 


I reminded him of the time he dropped the light fitting he was trying to install in the bathroom onto the newly installed bath, taking a massive chunk out of it, the day before the tiler was coming and resulting in a mad panic to get a new one purchased and installed, so we didn't lose the slot the tiler had given us. Sometimes I should probably keep my mouth shut. He looked dejected.

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'Oh well it's not the end of the world', I said. So what's for dinner?' Well, a Tesco ready meal as it turned out. I later learnt that the quick trip to Ikea had in fact taken over three hours and after recovering from the shock of being thrown off a ladder there was no time for anything home cooked.


The Grumpy One has another day off on Friday. I won't be giving him any tasks, I think I'll just let him sleep in!